‘I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer.’
That was the sentence I heard four times last year. Four separate friends. All in their 30s and early 40s.
One had been told she had two years to live thanks to a terrifying stage four diagnosis. One was in the middle of a divorce. Another was preparing her eldest daughter for primary school. And the fourth had just put her family home on the market ahead of an exciting new chapter with her husband and two young children.
Because that’s the thing about cancer. It doesn’t wait until you’re ready. It doesn’t arrive when your life is calm and neatly organised. It turns up in the middle of a Tuesday when you’re juggling work, school drop-offs and future plans, and suddenly all of those plans are shoved aside so you can fight for your life, fight for your hair, and fight for your sanity.
By the time the fourth friend shared her diagnosis, I began to feel as though the universe was playing a cruel joke. Surely it was no coincidence for so many women to be affected at once.
Shaken, I booked myself in for a full-body check-up. When my doctor asked why, I told her about my friends. She didn’t brush it off. She told me, quietly, that her clinic had also seen a noticeable rise in cancer diagnoses in women my age. That it really did seem to be happening younger and more often.
My friend Nikki (right) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer age 45
Today, Nikki (pictured) is thankfully out of the woods – but forever changed
Now, cancer is not new to my family. My aunty died of breast cancer in her late 40s and my mum fought it in her late 50s. But these women? My friends are in their 30s and early 40s. They are not worried about missing out on grandchildren one day. They are worried about not seeing their kids finish high school.
The first friend to be diagnosed was Nikki, 45, newly separated after 17 years with her childhood sweetheart. She had built a full life: three kids, a successful handbag business, a home that had once felt secure.
When her diagnosis was confirmed, we rallied around her as women so often do. There were spreadsheets. We rotated doctor appointments, school pick-ups, meal deliveries and babysitting. Today she is thankfully out of the woods after a double mastectomy, radiation, painful implants and medication she will take for years. Out of the woods, but forever changed.
The second was Emma.
She was 43 when she found a lump in her right breast and went to have it checked. She was told not to worry. That it was probably nothing. She was placed on a seven-week wait list for a mammogram. Only after that did she learn it was cancer. By then she had already had multiple biopsies and more delays.
‘My biggest regret is listening and waiting,’ she told me. ‘I trusted reassurance when my body was clearly telling me something wasn’t right. Looking back, I wish I had acted faster and followed my instincts.’
One thing that haunted her was what happened after the biopsy. The lump doubled in size. She cannot say why, but it was confronting and reinforced how deeply she felt that something was wrong. It made her question the delays and pushed her to advocate harder for herself.
In hindsight, there were signs she did not recognise at the time. Crushing exhaustion that went beyond normal tiredness. Persistent itching in her armpits that she would never have linked to cancer back then. Small things that only make sense once you are forced to look backwards.
Emma Johnson (pictured) was 43 when she found a lump in her right breast. She was eventually told she had stage four breast cancer and a grim prognosis
‘I share my story to raise awareness that there are other ways to fight cancer,’ says Emma (pictured with her family)
She was eventually told she had stage four breast cancer and a grim prognosis. As I write this, she is flying to Mexico, pouring every cent she has into treatment because she refuses to give up. Over the past year she has lost her business, her savings and parts of her old life, but she has gained something else entirely: faith, clarity and an unshakeable will to live.
‘I share my story to raise awareness that there are other ways to fight cancer,’ she says. ‘But also so people trust their instincts. Ask questions. Don’t wait. Explore every option.’
The third was Collette, a powerhouse publicist who had just put her coastal home on the market so that she and her husband could move their family back to the city.
She shared her diagnosis online because she did not want to have to say it over and over, and because cancer, in her words, does not get to be a secret. She welcomed love and support but not unsolicited medical advice or horror stories. Her journey has been marked by missed symptoms, prolonged uncertainty and a harsh sense of limbo. Still, she chooses to focus on her sons, personal growth, and rebuilding herself from within.
The fourth friend has asked to remain anonymous. What I can say is that she was just 34 when she was diagnosed. A young mum raising two beautiful daughters while running a successful business with her husband.
Collette (pictured on her wedding day) shared her diagnosis because she did not want to have to say it over and over, and because cancer, in her words, does not get to be a secret
After learning four of her friends had been diagnosed with breast cancer, Jana Hocking went for a full check-up. Her doctor told her she was seeing an increase in cancer in young people
One moment she was planning birthday parties and business strategies. The next she was sitting in oncology waiting rooms, staring at scans that would change the rest of her life.
These aren’t isolated stories. They are my friends, but they are also part of a broader trend that doctors and researchers are seeing with increasing concern.
In Australia, around three women under 40 are diagnosed with breast cancer every day, and it is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women aged 20 to 39. Over the past few decades, the number of new cases in women aged 20-39 has nearly doubled, rising from approximately 500 diagnoses a year to more than 900 – and the trend continues upward.
And it’s not just breast cancer: early-onset cancers overall, including bowel, kidney and thyroid cancers, have also increased among people in their 30s and 40s in recent decades.
What doctors and researchers can’t yet fully explain is why this is happening, but the numbers show that it is happening – and it’s not something to be dismissed as coincidence.
But I understand what it looks like when it hits your world.
It looks like school lunches packed beside chemo schedules. It looks like IVF hopes replaced with oncology referrals. It looks like women who were meant to be worrying about work deadlines and weekend sport suddenly fighting for their lives.
Cancer does not wait for the right time.
And neither should the conversation. So let this be your reminder: demand breast checks from your doctors – many of them will tell you to wait until you’re over 40, and only bi-annually. But I would recommend annually.
In fact, I would recommend today.
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