For many, the touch of a hand or a squeeze of the shoulder can be a great comfort.
But if they come from a romantic partner, these physical displays may not have the best of intentions, a new study suggests.
Scientists in New York have found that people with dark personality traits including psychopathy use touch to manipulate their partners.
In their study, they warn that touch can ‘increase the perceived ownership of objects’ and ‘foster compliance from a subordinate’.
So if your partner tries to hug you during a verbal confrontation, they might be a psychopath or a narcissist who is trying to establish authority.
They might even do this by holding your arm, your shoulder, the back of your head, or even your hand.
Study author Richard Mattson, professor of psychology at Binghamton University, said ‘not all forms of touch are well-intentioned’ and ‘not all hugs are harmless’.
‘They can actually be used in the service of oneself at the expense of the relationship partner,’ he said.
Affecting about 1 per cent of the population, psychopathy is a personality disorder characterised by anti-social behaviour, and extreme lack of empathy or remorse (file photo)
The team say touch is one of major ways in which humans express love, but it is ‘not necessarily experienced positively or used in good faith by all individuals’.
Examples of touch generally considered positive can be a hug from a friend, a squeeze of the hand or an arm around your shoulders, or more intimate forms of touch like hugs and kisses.
But these can turn to negative forms of touch, depending on the people and the scenario – and can be used as a form of manipulation or control.
‘What we were looking at is the manipulative use of touch alongside an individual’s preference not to be touched,’ said Professor Mattson.
For the study, the team recruited 500 college students from the northeastern United States, all over 18 years old and in a romantic relationship.
They were asked questions about their overall comfort with being touched, the extent to which they would avoid from touch due to discomfort, and their use of touch in ways that aren’t beneficial to the other person.
They also completed questionnaires assessing their level of the three ‘Dark Triad’ traits – psychopathy, narcissism and Machiavellianism.
They found both men and women with Dark Triad personality traits are more likely to use touch to manipulate their partner in a relationship, although the results varied by gender.
The new study is the first to show significant links between Dark Triad characteristics, the coercive use of touch, and touch aversion
Men who were anxious about their relationship status were more likely to use ‘coercive touch’ to get reassurance from their partners.
‘For anxiously attached men, the coercive use of touch is employed in the service of reassurance or protection seeking,’ the team speculate.
‘For instance, they may assert themselves physically to remind themselves of their connection with their partner in response to feelings like jealousy.’
Women who possessed Dark Triad traits were more uncomfortable with being touched themselves but likelier to use touch as a means of manipulation.
For women, touch may serve as a method of ‘enhancing interpersonal power’ – in other words, ensuring control of relationships.
Interestingly, women with high ‘attachment anxiety’ (having a fear of abandonment) showed greater aversion to touch.
According to the team, Dark Triad traits correlate with having difficulties in a romantic relationship, such as more frequent arguments and even violence, so it’s important to look out for the signs.
The study, published in the journal Current Psychology, is the first to show significant links between dark triad characteristics and the coercive use of touch.
Touch is often associated with well-being in a relationship, but ‘individual differences exist in the extent to which it is experienced as aversive or used for coercive purposes,’ the study authors say (file photo)
‘Our findings underscore the importance of considering personality traits and attachment orientations in understanding how touch is perceived and used within romantic relationships,’ the authors say.
‘Interest in this area is in its infancy but may be critical to providing an overall understanding of how touch operates within romantic relationships.’
The team admit some limitations to their study, such as the sample comprising solely of predominantly white and heterosexual undergraduates from a similar region of the US.
Further studies could explore the use of touch in a broader sample featuring older people in longer-term relationships, which could reveal some very different dynamics.
‘The binary classification we used to assess gender differences is also inherently problematic, as it imposed social constructs of both sex and gender that are not binary factors,’ the conclude.
HOW TO SPOT A PSYCHOPATH
Psychopaths display different traits depending on their disorder.
Common signs include superficial charm, a grandiose notion of self-worth, the need for stimulation and impulsiveness, pathological lying, the ability to manipulate others and a lack of remorse and empathy.
But despite the popular association, not all psychopaths become killers.
Experts claim people usually find psychopaths intriguing, but can’t put their finger on why.
This is down to incongruous behaviour because psychopaths tend to do a lot of acting to deceive, or mimic normal reactions, sometimes changing their views and reactions quickly.
For example, Self-professed psychopath Jacob Wells said that upon meeting someone, he tries to become ‘the most interesting person they know’ and presumably adopts suitable interests and responses to do this.
His response also gives away another common trait – a grandiose notion of self-worth – in that he can be the most interesting person in the room.
Psychopaths occasionally tend to exhibit unconvincing emotional responses, with slip-ups including tone of voice or body language.
This may be because they are unable to understand emotions such as fear and love, but can mimic them.
Psychopaths display different traits depending on their disorder, but common signs include superficial charm and the ability to manipulate others. Despite the popular association, not all psychopaths become killers (stock image)
Generally psychopaths’ ’emotions’ are shallow and short-lived and there is a manipulative ulterior motive to showing them.
For example, Mr Wells said he offers to do favours and tells false secrets to people to gain their complete trust.
He also displays insincere charm – another trait associated with psychopaths.
He says: ‘I keep secrets, and tell them fake secrets to further gain their trust, and once they trust me enough, I ask for favours, reminding them of the favours I did them. I can get literally anything from them, which is incredibly useful.’
Psychopaths typically display an incredible ability to manipulate others and sometimes take pleasure in doing so.
Psychopaths often have an air of superiority about them, perhaps shown by Mr Wells’ belief he can spot other psychopaths
Even expert Dr Hare, who came up with the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) used as a diagnostic tool to determine where someone lies on the psychopathy spectrum, warns that anyone can be duped during a short interaction with a psychopath.
