Ever felt a peculiar pang of sexual arousal for something a little unusual? You could have a fetish.
Most people who enjoy sex have at least one, according to sex coach Marie Morice, speaking exclusively to DailyMail.com.
She said: ‘Fetishes are a form of sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs.’
By far the most common fetish for men is feet, and objects associated with feet – for instance shoes and socks – but kinks can be anything from muscles to tattoos and pantyhose.
Morice said there are four fetish categories: visual, sensual, experiential fantasy – and women tend to get excited by the latter.
SEXPERT: Marie Morice is a clinical sexologist who used to work for the United Nations
Research in 2015 with 1,500 respondents found that men and women tend to have differences in their fantasies.
Morice said, ‘One interesting finding between men and women was that women are more likely to have a submissive fantasy and men are more likely to have a dominant fantasy.
‘As in, women are more likely to want to be spanked, tied up, whipped, and overall dominated; whereas, men are more likely to want to perform dominating behaviors.’
Morice, who worked at the United Nations in New York for seven years, made a unique career switch a few years back.
She retrained to be a sex therapist, swapping boardrooms for bedroom antics.
Morice has dealt with clients who enjoy being wrapped in plastic wrap as well as experimenting with food and bodily fluids during sex.
‘When it comes to sexuality, there is no normal. Based on my anecdotal evidence, I’d say most people have some kind of non-vanilla sexual expression, but might not be aware of them consciously or too shy or ashamed to embrace them,’ she said.
Morice said: ‘In their empirical 1980 research on sexual variations, Gosselin and Wilson have indicated that the most prevalent body fetishes are for feet, hands, and hair, and that the most prevalent fetish objects are shoes, gloves, and (soiled) underwear.’
Morice said, ‘Most fetishism research concerns heterosexual men who have fetishistic desires for feminine items such as high-heeled shoes, lingerie, and hosiery. Among homosexual men, the fetishistic objects tend to be highly masculine.’
So why do people develop fetishes? There has been a considerable amount of research into why people develop fetishes, Morice explained.
One University of Bologna study found that the most common fetishes are for body parts (30 percent) followed by objects associated with body parts: shoes or gloves for
By far the most common fetish is for feet, and objects associated with feet (for instance shoes and socks)
Morice said that fetishes can take many forms, including fetishes that exist only as thoughts.
She said, ‘Sometimes, thoughts can be kinky (without necessarily acting on it) because they are taboos themselves.
‘For example fantasizing about having sex with someone who won’t (such as a priest) – that’s all part of the broader fantasy category.’
It’s widely believed that fetishes start when people are very young, Morice said, although research has not proven that this is always the case.
Morice said: ‘Some research has shown that many fetishes appear to be the result of early imprinting and conditioning experiences in childhood or adolescence (for instance, where sexual excitement and/or orgasm is paired with non-sexual objects or body parts) or as a consequence of strong traumatic, emotional and/or physical experience.
‘The sensory memories get triggered by the object or body part.’
Do fetishes begin when we are children or adolescents?
But Morice said that research into fetishes is often marred by small sample sizes (rarely above 100 participants) and research with psychiatric patients and sex offenders.
Morice believes that most of us have a fetish, but some choose not to indulge or even acknowledge them.
Fetishes vary widely between different cultures (often according to what is ‘taboo’ in one place) but also between different sexualities.
Common treatments for unwanted fetishes include cognitive behavioral therapy – or being trained not to think about the fetish.
But Morice believes it’s important not to judge, and broadly encourages people to indulge in a healthy and safe way – although she does have limits.
She said: ‘The most important thing as a clinical sexologist is to be trained to understand non-vanilla practices and create a space for people to express their desires and kinks, without judgment and imposing one’s views of right and wrong – to remind them that there is no normal when it comes to our sexuality.’
